Most of our moments in a lifetime of parenting are nuts-and-bolts daily living, the 24-7 gauntlet of behavioral training (both our behavior as parents and our children’s behavior). “How the heck do I do this?” “What am I doing wrong?!?!” We need a wise rule of life, a regula that leads to joy, habits of living that are tested and true, and that, Lord willing, lead to less and less heartache. Wise rhythms, habits of speech, developmentally appropriate expectations and goals, and a heart of repentance as the foundation. This is, in my view, the most important area of parenting help.
But we don’t simply want “good” kids, we want to raise “godly” offspring. If our children have good behavior but they don’t know and love Jesus, then we are of all people the most to be pitied. We must teach the Faith to our children.
We daily form a Christian imagination in our children through wise use of our time, thoughtful boundaries, holy freedom, careful curation, habits of repentance and forgiveness, reading good books, prudent watching and thoughtful conversation, healthy habits with technology, and all this with a countercultural vigor in the face of the incessant pressures of the world.
Lastly (not last in importance!), we need Christian catechesis and formation (not head-alone, pass-a-test catechesis), daily habits of prayer (not fancy or long), simple and doable catechesis (not for theologians), and centrally, we desperately need to be in the Church, in the assembly, with the people of God, at least weekly on the Lord’s Day, and increasingly throughout our lives, around one another’s tables in our homes. We need to fight for more white space on the calendar. More sports, more teams, more events (especially on a church calendar!), and more stuff is overrated. Slow down.
